My Mother's Eyes: Jeremy Ray

We meet again!

Guys, this is a really special one for me. This is the first time that I had an author personally reach out to me on my Booksta and ask if I wanted to review their work. This is a short story, and there’s some sensitive topics covered in it, but it’s all done really well. Here we go :)

Brief Synopsis:

Jordie is only a week away from his first year in high school, and he should be stoked, but he’s not. Instead, he’s in the hospital with his brother, Brian, sitting by their mother’s bedside. Jordie is an artist and for a while now, he’s been trying to remember his mother through drawings. He’s drawn his mom in many ways lately, but there’s one thing that he just can’t get right: her eyes. He’s attempted to draw his mother 58 times now, and every single time he gives up when he gets to her eyes.

Why can’t he remember them? For the life of him, he can’t. And now he fears that it’s too late. His mom is in the hospital because she tried to end her own life by hanging herself. His brother Brian found her and began CPR, but she hasn’t responded or woken up since. The monitors show that her brain responds when they speak to her, and every once in a while she’ll do something like cough, but Jordie is pretty sure that his mom isn’t there anymore. It’s one of the many things he and Brian do not have in common.

This short story takes us through Jordie’s struggles of trying to draw his mother, trying to understand his brother, trying to just remember. Their mother loved to garden, and she always smelled like roses. That’s something that Jordie remembers well. He also remembers this drawing that he did not so long ago of a mouse that was a victim of his dog’s. He drew it all curled up in the flower pot, dead but peaceful looking, and he called it Confluence. His brother thinks his drawings are creepy, but his mother loved that drawing most of all. Something keeps telling him to turn back to that drawing, but he can’t bring himself to.

His brother has seemingly had enough of the hospital for the day and starts to leave, not listening to Jordie when he tells him that he’s not ready yet. Their brothers, they fight often, and they’re both stuck in this hard situation that’s a mix of grief, anger and denial. This culminates when Brian tells Jordie he’s a creep for his drawings, and Jordie throws his notebook at Brian’s head, causing him to fall down the stairs.

Brian chases Jordie and they begin to fight in the parking lot. Brian’s using his fist, but Jordie’s using his words, and he says a lot of hateful things, including that if he would have just found their mom five minutes earlier she would be okay. This causes Brian to break down, and although Jordie thought it would make him feel triumphant, all it does is make him feel worse. However… something pretty extraordinary happens in that moment. A breeze caresses over them, and it smells just like roses.

They both get in the car to go home, and Jordie decides that it’s finally time to look at the drawing of Confluence. When he does, he finds that his mom left him a message on the drawing about how much she loves him, and then he’s crying all over again. In that moment he vows that he’ll never stop trying to draw his mother, and knows that it’s his own way to make sure that she’s never forgotten.

This short story was really moving. As someone that’s experienced the loss of a mother (not to suicide) I understand the many emotions that one goes through. They were all captured so well in this story. At first I didn’t know what to think about it, or where it was going to go, but I honestly think that someone that’s going through a whirlwind of emotions could relate with this story, not feel so alone, and maybe feel like they just got a hug with another person’s words. Which is one of the things I love about writing the most.

My Rating:

7/10. It would be really interesting to have this be even longer and see what happens with Jordie, Brian and their lives. I would definitely read it. But even what we did get to see of their lives was a great story, and I enjoyed it.

Favorite Quote(s):

“We only select words to take on a “profound” meaning when circumstances change. We take what happens and hold the past up to it to see if we can find a connection.”

“My Mother’s Eyes” is available to purchase on Amazon and is free on Kindle Unlimited! Link available in @jeremyraystories bio.

Check out my Goodreads (Traci Bishop) and/or my Storygraph (bookishmamabish) to see what I’m currently reading and to see a good chunk of the books I have already read. My Instagram can be found on the home page and I will share whenever a new post is up as well!

Until next time <3