13 Times They Brought on the Sass in Chamber of Secrets

We meet again!

Happy, happy Halloween to all of my fellow bookworms that celebrate the spooky holiday! Continuing my yearly HP re-read, I thought that it might be fun to try and catalogue the times that the sass was brought on in CoS, because all of us that love the books know that Harry and the gang are far sassier in the novels than they are in the films.

Here we go :)

1 – Starting this off on a… weird note? I don’t like Snape. I am not team “he had a redemption arc” so, sorry. He was obsessive and abusive and only turned away from Voldemort once he killed Lily. He wouldn’t have given two damns if he’d only killed James. ANYWAY, stepping off that soapbox. He’s my first sass intake. Ron and Harry arrive at Hogwarts via the flying Ford Anglia and are saying hopefully snape was sick or left or sacked, not knowing he’s right behind them. Snape comes in with “Or maybe he’s waiting to hear why you two didn’t arrive on the school train.”

2 – Preparing for the first quidditch match of the season against Slytherin, Wood is telling them they have to win: “Get to that snitch before Malfoy or die trying, Harry, because we’ve got to win today, we’ve got to.” And here comes Fred. “So no pressure, Harry,” said Fred, winking at him.

3 – The dueling club brought about plenty of opportunity for sass, and I have two instances. (I’m not including the “Scared Potter?” “You wish” because we just all know and love that one already). Lockhart is talking about Snape helping him with a demonstration: “Now, I don’t want you youngsters to worry – you’ll still have your Potions master when I’m through with him, never fear!” and here comes Ron: “Wouldn’t it be good if they finished each other off?”

4 – Then Snape disarms Lockhart and knocks him on his ass: “Do you think he’s all right?” she squealed through her fingers. (She being Hermione) “Who cares?” said Harry and Ron together.

5 – One more from the dueling club: Lockhart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder. “Just do what I did, Harry”! “What, drop my wand?”

6 – Fred & George support Harry by joking about him being the heir of Slytherin, but Prefect Percy isn’t amused: “It is not a laughing matter.” “Oh get out of the way, Percy,” said Fred. “Harry’s in a hurry.” “Yeah, he’s nipping off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant.” Said George, chortling.

7 – After the fiasco with the spiders in the Forbidden Forest, Ron is raging and asking Harry what the point was; what they knew: “That Hagrid never opened the Chamber of Secrets,” said Harry, throwing the cloak over Ron and prodding him in the arm to make him walk. “He was innocent.” Ron gave a loud snort. Evidently, hatching Aragog out in a cupboard wasn’t his idea of being innocent.

8 – Even when Harry is facing down Tom Riddle, AKA young Voldy himself, he can’t resist the sass: “You’re not,” he said, his quiet voice full of hatred. “Not what?” snapped Riddle. “Not the greatest sorcerer in the world,” said Harry, breathing fast. “Sorry to disappoint you, and all that, but the greatest wizard in the world is Albus Dumbledore.”

9 – But Riddle gives it right back when Fawkes shows up with the sorting hat: He laughed so hard that the dark chamber rang with it, as though ten Riddles were laughing at once. “This is what Dumbledore sends his defender! A songbird and an old hat! Do you feel brave now, Harry Potter? Do you feel safe now?”

10 – Harry tricks Lucius into freeing Dobby: “Harry Potter set Dobby free!” “Least I could do, Dobby,” Said Harry, grinning. “Just promise never to try and save my life again.” The elf’s ugly brown face split suddenly into a wide, toothy smile.

11 – Dumbledore announces to all that Lockhart won’t be coming back to teach because of his back-fired memory charm: “Shame,” said Ron, helping himself to a jam doughnut. “He was starting to grow on me.”

12 – Ginny finally tells everyone Percy’s secret, and it’s that he has a girlfriend that he’s been sneaking around the castle with: “You won’t tease him, will you?” she added anxiously. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” said Fred, who was looking as if his birthday had come early. “Definitely not,” said George, sniggering.

13 – Finally, Hermione asks Harry if the Dursleys will be proud of him for all that he accomplished this year: “Proud?” said Harry. “Are you mad? All those times I could’ve died, and I didn’t manage it? They’ll be furious…”

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Until next time <3